Mikea Howard

Author of The Diesel War series

Website of Mikea Howard, author of the dieselpunk paranormal erotic romance series The Diesel War

We now return you to your regular programing

Have you ever wondered what happens when a writer suffers from depression? Either their work mirrors the darkness, or the writing stops altogether. Essentially effecting only them by drowning out the passion to create.

Now ask yourself what happens if they are part of a co-writing team? When one person is still feeling the drive of the muse, while the other has tumbled down into that dark, deep well of anxiety and sadness. I can't speak for the motivated half, but I can tell you that although the trip down the tar covered tunnel is slow and unexpected, it's a guilt riddled stay at the bottom.

Avoiding all writing responsibilities become a daily routine. Lacking the energy to even hit the 'post' button on the blogs you'd already drafted. Afraid to admit to your writing partner that your muse has packed up and left town, tired of being ignored. Completely hoarse from screaming ideas to a person determined to keep their head burred in the sand. All the while we were getting editor and agent rejection letters from the queries we'd been sending out. They weren't exactly boosting me back up. *smirk*

My entire life had been paused.

It took a year to even identify the depression and anxiety. Thankfully a ray of hope broke through the waning light as I lay at the bottom of the deep well. I finally sought help, determined to crawl out, even if my fingers were bloody from the climb. Emerging from the maw, I hesitantly reached out to the other half of this writing team. Proving to me that I paired up with an amazing person, she completely understood and expressed her desire to get writing again only when I was ready.

If you saw Kelly's previous post, you already know that it didn't take too long for me to brush the dirt from my knees, relocate my muse, and get the ball rolling again. My panic attacks are different. It's now a healthy desire to get edits done and back to our awesome editor before we miss our August release deadline.

So hang onto your hats, as time clears up, we'll be here more. Finally clicking 'post' on old drafts from 2013. I bid you all farewell, but not permanently.

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled programing.